Well….shit.

I had run out of vintage Titan Town posts to share. I knew this day would come eventually. But what would be the best way of bringing about a new area of posting? After toying with a few ideas, I thought it might be nice to have another guest post, similar to the one I made for The Driver.

After putting out a distress call for someone to pick a “bad” movie for me to watch, Twitter pal @notevengabbytbh came through and delivered I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker, a comedy/horror available to stream through Amazon Prime. She hadn’t seen this movie yet, either, so this had the potential to be an experience for both of us. Check out the “Clash of the Titans” feature at the end of this post for our reactions.

HEY, DT! CONVINCE ME! SO…WHY: I HAD A BLOODY GOOD TIME AT HOUSE HARKER?

It’s 2018. Doom and gloom abound in a variety of forms. You need to be able to shut your brain off from time to time. Why not check out a bloody comedy some evening? I’m not writing in an English accent, if I was I would be recommending Shaun of the Dead instead.

Harker takes place in a world where vampires are very much real. Good luck convincing anyone but the descendants of  famed Dracula-slayer Jonathan Harker, however. In the meantime, the Harker siblings (failed actor Gerry, lovable Charlie) and their weirdo pal, Ned Morris, are running a shitty vampire play out of their historical landmark home. The third sibling, normal Paige, seems to be the only one who has their life together. She’s also currently engaged to the local sheriff, Wayne.

Through a series of mishaps, the Harker crew finds themselves in some possible legal trouble, as well as the predicament of needing a great deal of money to save their house. And why better way than to drum up a little vampire panic?

According to the lore in this movie, without a “leader” vampire, its offspring no longer have the power to convert human victims into new vampires. As you’d expect, this kind of thing is bad for business. There are so few vampires left when Bloody Good Time begins, most of humanity no longer regards vampires as ever existing, let alone posing a threat. This situation could all change, however, if a vampire were to locate and harness the power of the leader vampire’s skull, which may or may not happen. I’ll never tell.

NOW THAT YOU’RE HERE, CHECK OUT:

The obvious Twlight parody, “Succulent”, and its author Stacey Mendler.

Twirl, “the Karate Kid of baton twirling films.”

The exorcisms scene.

The best vampire in this movie listens to Right Said Fred, and it whips.

WHO BRINGS A DVD TO A GUNFIGHT? YOU DO (IF IT’S HARKER):

Ready for blood? Harker‘s got you covered. The Good Cops (the team behind Harker) raised $37,305 on Kickstarter for the purposes of post-production, so expect a lot of fake blood and some crunchy sound effects. Drils, stakes, garlic, spoons, holy water, and even a….baton? Oh, and a possibly functional stake-chainsaw. Stakesaw? Chainstake?

The vampires in this movie tend to pop when they are slayed, so make sure you have a tarp handy. Don’t be too concerned , they can’t really hurt you….or can they?

THIS IS THE END:

If you’re looking for a silly comedy with lots of blood and some horror elements, you could do far worse. It’s very in on the joke, so relax and enjoy yourselves. Admittedly, I have a very nerdy sense of humor, but this movie got better for me on repeated viewings. Yes, I care about you all that much. I found all the characters pretty likable, and the acting was solid, as far as I’m concerned. I’m definitely going to go back and check out some of The Good Cops’ earlier work.

 Harker‘s an homage to B movies, and it fits right in among them.

3 out of 4 Dracula “Blaaaaaa”s

 

Clash of the Titans #2:
“I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker”
with @notevengabbytbh

“Hello, my name is Jenni. I go by @notevengabbytbh on Twitter. I am a big dork and you should definitely not follow me. Also, please stop asking me questions about your dick on CuriousCat. I love horror & thriller movies of any kind, which is why I watched this shitshow ‘with’ DT.”

DirectingTitan: What made you choose I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker?

Jenni: I chose this because DT had asked for suggestions and I just looked on my Amazon Prime queue. I apparently don’t know how to read that well, though, because I didn’t know it was a horror comedy. I thought it was just horror because vampires, and I liked the blurb. I had never heard of it before.

DT: In this movie, the descendents of Dracula foe, Jonathan Harker, are treated like jokes by the locals, who don’t acknowledge vampires to be a real threat. As far are you’re concerned…are vampires real??

Jenni: I think people who suck the life out of you are real, because I’ve dated a few of them. But actual, bloodsucking vampires? Nah.

DT: Harker bills itself as “a bloody action-comedy in a horror film shell.” In your opinion, did the filmmakers arrive at the right formula?

Jenni: Mostly. There was very little horror, unless you find just the idea of vampires frightening. But there was a lot of blood without being necessarily gory. There was definitely more action than I expected, which was fine because I don’t think it would have worked otherwise.

DT: Obviously, this movie doesn’t take itself too seriously. What lessons, if any, could someone take from it?

Jenni: Uhhh, the only lesson I got from this movie is always carry a sharpened pencil.

DT: On the opposite side of the coin, did you find anything to be too cliche or problematic?

Jenni: I know I probably SHOULD but I try not to analyze things I’m watching too much. They are created to be entertainment and I try to allow them to be only that, but I kept “notes” on the movie since I knew you’d be asking me questions. To be honest, I can’t decipher them out of context though, so I’ll give a tentative no?

DT: You’ve preparing to battle the undead but only have time to grab one item. What is it?

Jenni: I started thinking about what’s in my house and realized I don’t really have a lot of sharp objects because I’m a bit clumsy at times. I’ll go with a full water bottle and hope I run into someone religious to bless it and turn it into holy water.

DT: Oh no! You’ve become a vampire. What would be the coolest perk?

Jenni: I will always be this good-looking, lol.

DT: Biggest drawback?

Jenni: I don’t think drugs and alcohol affect vamps, right? Living forever without a way to alter your consciousness sounds like a nightmare.

DT: What’s up with the soundtrack?! I had no idea Right Said Fred is still around.

Jenni: Right?!? I didn’t either. I can’t tell if they’re doing an irony, or maybe couldn’t afford the rights to other stuff because it’s a Kickstarter movie, or maybe they’re just Canadian? Bit weird, those ones, eh?

DT: Would you recommend I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker to friends? Why or why not?

Jenni: This was mostly a comedy, not really horror at all, so if you want to watch something that felt like it was made by a knockoff Broken Lizard team, you’ll like this. It was overall entertaining and once I realized the whole thing was meant to be absurd, I actually enjoyed it. Drinking probably helped that. Would recommend with the caveat that I thoroughly enjoy trash entertainment, but your mileage may vary.

DT: Anything you or friends are working on that you’d like to plug? This is your space!

Jenni: I do not have any projects of my own, but like 50% of my Twitter friends have or are on podcasts, and you should listen to them because I am a terrible friend and don’t (Sorry, Twitter friends, the truth had to come out sometime).

Thanks again to Jenni for introducing me to this movie and taking the time to answer some spooky questions. Be sure to check her out on Twitter at @notevengabbytbh, and ask her some interesting questions on CuriousCat. Just don’t ask her about your dick.