Available On: Amazon Prime
“I have some questions for you.”
– Dark Justice
“Fuck you, Dark Justice!”
“Yeah! Fuck you, Dark Justice!”
HEY, DT! CONVINCE ME! SO WHY…: DARK JUSTICE?
Oh hello there, I didn’t hear you come in! It’s been a couple of months since I last posted here. I wish I had a good reason, but “Hey jackass, it’s 2018 and everything is on fire twice” will have to do. Needless to say, I was in a bit of a slump and needed something to get my pistons firing again. Enter Dark Justice to trip over its own shadowy dick.
Billed as a “live action graphic novel”, Dark Justice came to my attention when I was browsing the net for a movie to watch. There were a couple other films named Dark Justice as well as a Justice League Dark animated film and a UK pedophile-hunting group called Dark Justice. To be honest, I probably should have picked any of those instead.
The intro is pretty brief and gets right to it: 10 years ago, the city was on the verge of exploding due to a mob rivalry between Salvatore “I’m just a legitimate businessman” Gravano and “I’ve got this entire town in my pocket” Moretti. That is, until a mysterious masked vigilante, dubbed Dark Justice by the press, enters the bloody fray and somehow coerces both sides into a shaky truce. Returning to the present day, a series of mysterious murders threatens to sink the truce and has the entire city on edge:
Has Dark Justice returned?
First, let me say that I’m pretty sure this film is in on the joke. (I hope.) Dark Justice is an indie movie with a small budget, so no one is expecting “The Godfather” here. The film itself is described as being full of film noir tropes and intended for a Comic-Con audience. And that’s pretty accurate, in my opinion. This Dark Justice takes place in a film noir universe where the lead detective, Walter Murray, inexplicably wears a suit and fedora and arranges plans for “sundown” despite everyone else driving modern cars and enjoying such luxuries as phones and cable television. Murray’s idea of stakeout gear is a leather jacket, jeans, and…you guessed it, a fedora. Dark Justice is probably best seen on some type of mind altering substance and with pals who won’t mind a bit of MST3K-style riffing.
NOW THAT YOU’RE HERE, CHECK OUT:
I really enjoyed much of the atmosphere in Dark Justice. I’ve always been a fan of gritty crime stories and film noir, so I’m a sucker for the city landscapes, grungy warehouses, winding highways with a sea of headlights, and the dark streets leading into the unknown that are depicted here. That said, the main character’s bedroom looks like a blanket fort, except one that people have sex in. The villains hold clandestine meetings in a blanket fort. Half this shit looks like it was made in a blanket fort, for fuck’s sake. I get it, I get it. Low budget. Moving on.
The dialogue has its moments, although the delivery is painful more often than not. Some of my favorites are:
- Detective Walter Murray: “Really? Does anyone really even READ books anymore?”
- Angry Mayor Guy: “If this asshole costs me the election, there WILL be hell to pay!”
- Frustrated Police Chief: “That’s about as useless as tits on a bull.”
- *Gangsters playing Uno in a warehouse…FOR MONEY*
- Murray: “Sorry I got us kicked off the case.”
- Dark Justice: “I have questions for you!” Hitman: “Fuck you, Dark Justice!”
Honestly, if I make it through a movie like this and never get to hear “You’re off the case!” delivered by a grizzled chief of police, I consider it to be a colossal failure. Thankfully, Dark Justice does not let me down here.
WHO BRINGS A DVD TO A GUNFIGHT? YOU DO, IF IT’S DARK JUSTICE:
This is the section where I typically list any action scenes or particularly violent content. For this film, I tell you to check out the action scenes the same way I might suggest you check out an elephant on roller-skates about to crash into a school field trip at the local nitroglycerin factory. The elephant is also on fire and wearing a jaunty fedora, because 2018.
The combat is….an experience. Dark Justice is constantly bringing a sword to a gun fight, and they must be an electrician on the side because they’re forever cutting the power to buildings before springing up to dispense, well, dark justice. Gunmen tip toe through the dark like Elmer Fudd, waving their guns around in the air and trying to get the drop on Bugs Bunny. Except this time, the bunny has a sword. And it’s probably not even a bunny, anyway. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.
The hand-to-hand fight scenes typically end up resembling a slap fight between siblings over who gets possession of the TV remote. I’ve done a bit of martial arts work on camera before and can attest to it being very difficult, especially if you don’t have a skilled stunt crew or convincing actors. That said, l o l.
THIS IS THE END…
If you can’t guess Dark Justice’s secret identity by the end of this movie,
I will PayPal you $1.00*.
I hope the director takes this experience and moves on to bigger and better things. I have directed approximately 0 (zero) films of any length, so he’s one up on me with Dark Justice. That said, it provided me with some entertainment and I hope it will do the same for you. That’s as nice as I can get here, sorry.
It’s only an hour and 15 minutes, so do it to yourself. Do it!!
Hang up your fedora, sheath your sword, pour out a little whiskey and pop in some Dark Justice…at sundown, obviously.