AoA Fantasy League Week 6 Recap:

Previously, on Avengers of Avenging:
Click here for the Week 1 Recap.
Check out the Week 2 Recap over here.

Week 3 Recap can be found thusly.
Week 4  is right here where you left it.
Knock knock! Who’s there? It’s Week 5!

Week 6 Stories:

  • Buccaneers have fired Defensive Coordinator Mike Smith, after their most recent loss to the Atlanta Falcons. A noticeable improvement may be too much to hope for this season, however. This defense is bad, folks.
  • The Ravens sacked poor Marcus Mariota 11 times, setting a new team record. 
  • Adam Thielen had his 6th straight game of 100+ receiving yards. He also leads the league in yards and receptions.
  • The Eagles clubbed the Giants, resulting in more sideline drama from OBJ.  
  • The Dolphins pulled off the upset and beat Chicago in OT. Thanks, Miami!
  • Chargers are looking good, dropping 38 points on the Cleveland Browns defense, including a personal best 3 rushing TDs for Melvin Gordon.
  • Antonio Brown snagged a TD with 15 seconds remaining to deliver the Steelers over the Bengals. 
  • Tyreek Hill was on the receiving end of a beer shower from the stands. The Patriots have since “dis-invited” the fan from future events. 
  • A week after the worst Packers kicking performance since 1965, Mason Crosby redeemed himself with 4 field goals (including the game winner as time expired) and 3 extra points. Welcome back!
  • Seahawks owner Paul Allen passed away at the age of 65.
  • Josh Allen is week to week with an elbow injury.


The Matchups:

The Brice is Right vs Wookiee Samurai

The Battle of the Bros!

beer
Painful Start:
The Brice is Right suffered a letdown from Sammy Watkins on Sunday night, as he fell far short of his projected 10 points. It was Tyreek Hill’s night. Meanwhile, the Bengals defense continues its Jekyll and Hyde routine, either delivering a double digit performance or a 0. This week it was -1.

Wookiee Samurai got burned by Corey Davis (2.9 points), although it didn’t look like any of the Titans showed up to the game…and a fumbling Jordan Howard (4 points) this week.

Stroke of Genius?:
Who says kickers are having a rough year? Wookiee Samurai kicked up a storm with 22 points from Stephen Gotskowski. And starting any defense against the Bills is usually a solid option, as Houston’s DEF nabbed 20 points for the Wookiee. 

“It’s Tyreek Hill’s World, We’re Just Living in It” Pick of the Week:
142 yards and 3 TDs on 12 targets, resulting in his 2nd highest performance this season (35 points).

Result:
The Brice is Right
 advances to 3-3.
Wookiee Samurai is going to need an oxygen tank if he goes any lower than 0-6.


Ninja Bitsy vs Deep State Dynamos

shuffle
Painful Start:
Ninja Bitsy
 suffered a couple betrayals this week. Stefon Diggs only pitched in 5 points, Jordy Nelson came back to Earth a bit with 1.6 points, and Marcus Mariota was mauled by the Ravens and only scored 7.

Deep State Dynamos only took a few dings over the weekend. Carlos Hyde delivered a 3 point dump, and the mighty Bears defense had their first poor fantasy performance of the season with 5 points. Don’t go practicing that Super Bowl Shuffle just yet, Bears.

Brutal Benching:
Tarik Cohen is fighting Jordan Howard for his share of the ball, and proved that with 19 points against the Miami Dolphins. Don’t tell Ninja Bitsy, however.  

“Oh, THAT Austin Hooper” Pick of the Week:
Weeks ago, I mocked Deep State Dynamos for having to start Austin Hooper. However, in the past two weeks he has delivered two double digit performances. If this keeps up, I may have to *gasp* apologize. 

Result:
Down goes Bitsy! Down goes Bitsy! Our last undefeated team drops to 5-1.
Deep State Dynamos sees all from their 3-3 perch.


Joski’s Yoskis vs Slap and Pickle

Painful Start:
Will Fuller V had his second bad game in a row, catching his 1st pass in the 4th quarter and getting 4 points for Joski’s Yoskis.

Slap and Pickle is dead to us. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.


Captain Lance Murdock Injury Award:
Slap and Pickle
‘s entire team. Hiyooooo.

“Most Consistent Giant” Pick of the Week:

barkley
Look at that smile! Doesn’t he know he’s a Giant?

It’s always a relief to have a player you can plug into your lineup and not worry about for the rest of the week. Right now, there’s about 1 Giant you can rely on and that man is Saquon Barkley. Maybe they can try him at QB also? Anyway, nice pickup of 33 points, Joski’s Yoskis

Result:
Joski’s Yoskis
 arrive at 4-2.

Slap and Pickle drops to 3-3. Ahhh, justice. 

Fly Eagles Fly vs You’ve Been SACed

eagle-costume-and-mask
Painful Start:
This is just going to be You’ve Been SACed every week. Why do I bother? *mutters*

Brutal Benching:
Under normal circumstances you might not start Mitchell Trubisky over Jared Goff, but that’s what You’ve Been SACed should have done this week. She also left 17 points on the bench from the Seattle defense. 

Captain Lance Murdock Injury Award:
Derek Carr left the game with an arm injury but it’s not believed to be serious.

“Julio Jones Watch” Pick of the Week:
Week 6 and still no touchdowns for Julio Jones. He’s still racking up the yardage, but a score or two might be nice. 19 points for You’ve Been SACed this week!

Result:
Fly Eagles Fly
takes 3-3.
You’ve Been SACed
drops to 3-3.


Assume the Position vs Dave’s Dandy Team

download

Painful Start:
Assume the Position missed the alert that Jamison Crowder wouldn’t be playing on Sunday, as seen by the 0 point contribution.

For Dave’s Dandy Team, Javorious Allen lost work to Alex Collins and only managed 3 points this week. 

Brutal Benching:
Assume the Position can’t start Albert Wilson every week and expect the same results, but his 30 points would have given him the W this week. 

“Banging the Drum for Nick Chubb” Pick of the Week:
Let’s get this man some more carries, hmm? 3 touches a game doesn’t seem to be getting the job done, in real life or on Assume the Position’s team. 

Result:
Dave’s Dandy Team 
rises to 3-3.
Assume the Position falls to 1-5.


Nyet Russian Bots vs Waterboys

bots

Painful Start:
Waterboys 
had bad luck at running back this week, getting lackluster results from Isaiah Crowell and Chris Carson. His best RB performance came from Tampa Bay’s Peyton Barber with 18 points. 

Captain Lance Murdock Injury Award:
*deep breath* Amari Cooper suffered a concusion, Geronimo Allison recovered from his concussion only to injure his hamstring, Mohamed Sanu banged up his hip, and Matt Bryant strained his hamstring. Whew. 

“Clash of the Titans” Pick of the Week:
This week it was Patrick Mahomes vs Tom Brady in fantasy and on the field, and defense was optional in the 43-40 struggle. Mahomes continued his fantasy brilliance and almost completed the comeback, but it was Brady’s Patriots who walked away with the win. 

Result:
Nyet Russian Bots 
nets 1st place and a 5-1 record.
Waterboys drops to 3-3.


Tunnel Snakes vs Bligh’s Gonna Cry

crying

Painful Start:
Since my missteps were all injury related, I’ll address them later in the column.

Meanwhile, the normally trustworthy Ryan Succop joined the rest of his Titans teammates in Suckville and scored 0 points. Condolences, Bligh’s Gonna Cry.

Brutal Benching:
Chris Godwin would have been a better play at WR this week than any other Tunnel Snake, excluding Adam Thielen. So long, 14 points.

Bligh’s Gonna Cry left a record setting performance by the Baltimore Ravens defense on the bench this week, choosing to go with Minnesota instead. Which wasn’t a bad guess on paper, sometimes life is like that.

Captain Lance Murdock Injury Award:
This week, my beautiful sons Calvin Ridley (6 points) and Cooper Kupp (1 point) both left their games due to injuries. Ridley’s injury appears to be a bone bruise, which is pretty lucky all things considered. Kupp’s was knee related and had many people guessing he was done for the season. However, after getting taken away on the medical cart, Kupp returned and….didn’t do anything, really. But he was out there, which hopefully is a good sign for his future status.

Baker Mayfield also suffered an ankle injury but it appears not to be anything major.

“I  Was Wrong, OK?!” Pick of the Week:
This season, I avoided targeting Kareem Hunt in my drafts. I don’t have anything against him, I just didn’t foresee his success carrying over into the 2018 season. Alex Smith had departed for Washington and I didn’t know anything about Patrick Mahomes. I knew Andy Reid would run the ball, I just couldn’t guarantee it would be Hunt.

Well, I was wrong and aside from a dismal Week 1 performance, Hunt has been pretty much on fire. Meanwhile, my Le’Veon Bell pick continues to haunt me from my bench like some kind of spooky Halloween ghost. In a football uniform. A gridiron ghost, if you will. 

Result:
I can’t just write “Tunnel Snakes slither their way to…” every damn week, can I? I can’t think of anything else snake related. Ugh, fine. Tunnel Snakes slither their way to 3-3. *sigh*
Bligh’s Gonna Cry moves on to 3-3 with his 3rd straight win.

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